Thoughts Wellness

My Heart is Broken, and I’m Completely Crushed

July 9, 2020

I lost my college graduation ring. No, it wasn’t a class ring, but a ring my mom and I designed and it was my graduation present. And I’m crashing down hard. I’m shattered. Everything doesn’t even begin to brush the surface of what that ring means to me. The word doesn’t exist. I honestly, don’t know where it can possibly be. I’ve already torn apart my freshly organized apartment searching and it’s nowhere. Actually, nowhere.

That ring is a reminder of how my life isn’t even in the same realm of what I want it to be, things will be ok

It’s a reminder that even though I had depression punched me 6 hard times in college I still successfully accomplished my degree

It’s learning to walk up stairs backwards

It’s even though I failed a semester, I graduated

It’s even though I thought about dropping out EVERY DAY for a semester in a half I persevered and made it through.

It’s the first 4 years and then another 4 years and counting of healing

It’s every smile

Every laugh

every tear

every cry

every moment in university.

It’s that every anxiety attack will end… even if I don’t think it ever will

It’s every time I thought I would never graduate, but I proved myself wrong

it’s how I finally found my empowerment

It’s the times I refound myself home on a stage

It’s every audition

It’s every performance

It’s every late night at Bulls or Fermentation Lounge

It’s my Baptism

It’s every time I am reminded how blessed I am to have found my family

It’s the strength I didn’t know I had

And it’s gone and so is every nights sleep from now on

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