My Dermatologist Made me Self Conscious About My Acne

December 18, 2018

It took me a while to get to this point. But alas here I am. Allow me to take you on a journey.

I was seeing a dermatologist initially for my Eczema. As a child I had really bad Eczema, particularly on my hands and feet. But once puberty hit, and my hormones ran amuck, my dermatologist also helped me with my acne; well tried to.

Looking back at photos, my acne wasn’t that bad. It was average.  But I HATED my skin. So the photos of me are either telling the truth that my acne wasn’t terrible, or showing the lie because my acne was hidden under a mask of green concealer, foundation and heavy setting powder. I asked my mom about my acne and she said it wasn’t terrible, but I did have a lot of black heads and when my pimples did pop up, they were large, inflamed and looked painful. 

When I was in 4th grade and my acne started, my dermatologist prescribed me with a spot treatment.  At that point, I had small pimples on my forehead, blackheads and white heads on my nose and chin, and several large pimples scattered around my face. My mom put it one for me that first night to show me how to apply it and I went to sleep. I woke up the next day and my skin was almost flawless. I was ecstatic!  I ran in to my mom’s room overjoyed because my skin was so wonderful and I hadn’t seen my skin look that amazing since before the 3rd grade. 

That cream worked for about a week, then it caused me to break out. So we called the doctor who said to reduce use and use it only twice a week. At that point it didn’t do anything. 

My next few visits went from 1 prescription, a nightly spot treatment, to getting 3 prescriptions: a moisturizer (which was amazing) a spot treatment (which did nothing but cause my breakouts to get worse) and a prescription face wash (which was a glorified scrub). My last visit with her in high school ended in getting an oral antibiotic, which I took for a week until my mom said, “Ok we’re done here.” 

Now all this time, I was under the impression I had the worst acne in all of man kind. The reality was my acne was average. But I was never told my skin wasn’t bad. And the cliche of actions speak louder than words was precisely what happened. I just left with more and more prescriptions. I thought my skin was as bad as the teenagers on the Proactiv and Clean & Clear commercials.  

It was in high school while on vacation in the Amalfi coast I found what worked for my skin. My mom and I got facials at our resort hotel. The aesthetician there told me my skin wasn’t bad, but it did need to heal. The skin care line that hotel used was the first thing that EVER helped heal my skin (Mary Cohr I think is the brand).

Moving back to the States I wasn’t able to get that product line. As a result in college my skin flaired up, and oh how wished I could have gone back and told high school me my skin wasn’t that bad. At that point my skin went back to how it was in high school but with the added bonus of stress acne.

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